Are you exhausted by rigid wellness trends and the constant pressure to eat perfectly? In this episode, Registered Dietitian and Diabetes Educator Wendy Lopez breaks down how to genuinely nourish your body without sacrificing the cultural joy of eating. Tune in to discover practical ways to balance a plant-forward lifestyle, simplify busy weeknight meals, and ditch the perfectionist mindset that makes nutrition feel like an overwhelming chore.

We dive into the surprising realities behind organic food labels and why connecting with local farmers might actually be the smarter choice for your health. Wendy unpacks the darker side of modern wellness culture, explaining how to embrace intuitive eating and mindful nutrition without spiraling into stressful, disordered habits. The conversation also explores the deep ties between holistic health and major life transitions, touching on everything from breast cancer recovery to navigating IVF. You will walk away with a fresh perspective on disease prevention and a much-needed reminder to slow down, process your emotions, and reclaim your personal identity.

Hit play to rethink your relationship with food, and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an empowering conversation like this one!

Introduction and Career Background

Wendy Lopez:

Hi.

Kayoll Gyan:

Hi.

Cassandra Dell:

We are so excited to have our guest in-house.

Kayoll Gyan:

I know.

Cassandra Dell:

We have Wendy Lopez. So, Wendy, tell the audience who you are and how you identify. Just go ahead and introduce yourself.

Wendy Lopez:

Yes, thank you for having me. My name is Wendy. I identify as Dominican and I’m from the Bronx. I’ve been a dietitian for close to 15 years now, which is crazy how time flies.

I remember when we were all in college and we were just navigating life and trying to figure things out. We still are, but things get so blurry and I feel like time just goes by so quickly.

I am a registered dietitian and a diabetes educator as well. Right now, with the work that I do professionally, my focus is diabetes care. I’ve worked in so many different hospitals throughout New York City and in community practices.

I decided to start my own business about 12 years ago with one of my best friends who is also a dietitian. We used to have a business doing media work in nutrition, and now we have a telehealth startup that focuses on providing nutrition services remotely.

It is covered by insurance for people that want preventative care but also for people that have any kind of insulin resistance, so PCOS, prediabetes, diabetes, Type 1—a range of different conditions related to insulin resistance.

Kayoll Gyan:

I think that’s so cool. I think this field for you is fitting because, like we said, we’ve known each other from school. I just remember seeing you and always being the healthy person on a natural tip.

When I saw after we graduated that you were starting the startup and the different cooking things or recipes, I was like, man, this is so fitting for what I remember of Wendy. I love that for you, that this is the path you decided to go down.

Wendy Lopez:

Yeah, it’s been really great. It’s also evolved throughout the years. I’ve been doing it for so long, so before it was a lot of media work.

As I’ve gotten older, I want to do more operations. I don’t want to be the face of any brand, really. I’ve been enjoying doing more of the behind the scenes and providing support to other dietitians who are newer in the field. It’s definitely been a journey.

Cassandra Dell:

That’s awesome.

Kayoll Gyan:

Yeah. And so now outside of your role as a registered dietitian and your day-to-day work, who is Wendy? How would you define yourself? What do you like to do? What are your hobbies?

The Importance of Community and Family

Wendy Lopez:

Well, my life revolves around my community. I have really deep connections with family, both given family and chosen family.

Everything that I do professionally is so I can have more freedom to spend time with myself, most importantly, but also with the people that I love. Usually, the things that I do involve spending time by myself, which I really like, or spending time with my husband and all of my friends.

For most of my friendships, I’ve known them since college, so I definitely consider them to be part of my family. My parents live in the Dominican Republic, so I’m always going to DR. I’m literally going this weekend.

I’m always going to visit them and connect with my family over there. I’ve been blessed in that I have a very abundant community, but also that comes with the responsibility of maintaining relationships.

There’s always something. My best friend’s 40th was last week. My other best friend’s 40th is next week. I’m traveling out to show up for everyone in my life. It could definitely be overwhelming, but it is what gives meaning for me.

Kayoll Gyan:

I love that. Especially now with social media, it can connect people, but it also can leave people isolated at the same time if you don’t make an intentional decision to physically see someone or have lunch or even pick up a phone and have a conversation.

I love that. That’s one of the things that you value. That’s amazing.

Wendy Lopez:

Yeah.

Cassandra Dell:

Also, as we age, we’re getting older. I know the things I used to do in my 20s, baby, no. I want the soft life. I want it slow, I want it digestible, I want healthy meals, I want cozy, and I want it to be sustainable.

When you’re younger, you’re maybe more agile or really wanting to bend a little bit more to overstretch and overreach yourself. Like you said, be the face of a brand. But now it’s like, wait, no.

Speaking of life and changes and trying to recalibrate, we probably can’t have a conversation about food and community and the well-being of other people without softly mentioning COVID and its impact on how it has shifted how we do things.

Can you share with us what the shift in COVID was for you? More specifically, tying in your dietitian and nutrition background, how did COVID feed into that?

Navigating the Impacts of COVID-19

Wendy Lopez:

That’s such a great question. I think that we don’t really talk about the impact that COVID has had because we’re still in the midst of it. People are still testing positive for COVID and we’re still trying to understand it.

That was another thing where it was just kind of a blur. We’re like, wait a minute, that was a really traumatic experience. For me, I was living alone at the time when COVID hit and it was really isolating. I felt very lonely.

I wasn’t around community because we had to isolate. Eventually, I decided to go to Dominican Republic and I spent a few months there because I just really missed my family and I was really down about being by myself.

With coping with the emotional part and the stress of COVID, that affected people in different ways from the nutrition standpoint because some people do cope through food. I’ve seen it play out in different ways.

For me personally, I’m pretty in tune with eating and nutrition, so there weren’t really any drastic changes happening. It was more so with my activity levels because I wasn’t able to go out. I wasn’t as active and that really affected me. I was also living in New York City at the time.

Kayoll Gyan:

I feel like it was during COVID, on social media, this whole idea of food as medicine just kind of blew up. What’s your take on that and the whole concept of food as medicine and now this wave of people being more aware of that in their daily life?

Wellness Culture and Disordered Eating

Wendy Lopez:

I think part of the reason why people became more aware of it is because they were spending more time on social media. A lot of us were working remote and we had more access to Instagram, and TikTok had a huge boom these past few years.

We’ve gotten sucked into all of this wellness content. It’s very tricky because I think it’s great that people are becoming more interested in their health and what they’re consuming, but also it can become very obsessive.

There was a lot of disordered eating that came out of that and that continues to come out of that because people get fixated on eating perfectly or eating what’s considered the right way.

It has to be organic; it can’t have any kind of pesticide residue. Then it just becomes so rigid that it becomes disordered and really stressful. Food ends up becoming really stressful.

Just as farm-to-table is huge in our cultures, especially in the Caribbean, so is joyful eating. Food is always a celebration. You gather, you break bread with family and friends.

In many of our cultures, these celebrations revolve around food. When you take on this approach that is very rigid, it sucks the joy out of food as well. It’s all about finding a balance.

I think it’s important to make informed decisions about your food and eat in ways that are nutritious. That’s why it’s great to work with a dietitian if you’re not sure what that looks like for you. But it’s very easy to go into the deep end where you’re just freaking out about everything and thinking, okay, I don’t know what I should be eating.

Cassandra Dell:

That’s such a great question that I think a lot of us are thinking about. In your eyes as a dietitian, what are the top five foods that you’re saying as a society we’re just not getting enough of? Are there any particular foods or aspects of food that we’m simply not getting enough of?

Top Nutritional Recommendations

Wendy Lopez:

Well, the top ones are going to be vegetables and fruits. Very basic. I feel like we’re not eating enough fiber.

Cassandra Dell:

I know that’s right.

Wendy Lopez:

There’s been such an emphasis in recent years on protein. Oh my gosh, this is how you can get more protein.

Kayoll Gyan:

If I see another TikTok on chicken breasts.

Wendy Lopez:

Protein has been having a moment for a while, but there’s not enough emphasis on fiber. I think vegetables, especially those non-starchy vegetables like your dark leafy greens, are important.

I think seasonal eating is a really great strategy to diversify the vegetables and the fruits you’re having because it’s always going to change. During the cooler months, you’re going to have vegetables that are more hearty.

During the spring and summer, you’re going to have so much variety. You can do it in a way that’s culturally relevant to you. In the Caribbean, we’re not necessarily eating kale, but we have eggplant, okra, and callaloo.

We have all types of salads, all types of herbs, tomatoes, and cucumbers. Just thinking about the ways that you would enjoy it, I would definitely recommend that.

I would also say whole grains are another one that I think are often overlooked. I don’t think you have to only eat whole grains. For cultures where rice is a cultural staple, like my mom, she would never eat brown rice.

She says she likes white rice and the texture. I’m like, that’s fine. We can just add fiber to it. You could just have it with a lot of vegetables and then with your protein.

If you’re open to it, it could be good to incorporate more of those whole grains like brown rice. You can also do quinoa, corn tortillas, or bulgur. There’s different types of whole grains that you can incorporate as well.

You asked for five, so the fourth one I would say is healthy fats. Those would be like avocados, nuts, seeds, chia seeds, and flax seeds. You can incorporate those into your smoothies as well.

Then I would also encourage people to eat more plant-forward. That can look differently. It’s not necessarily only eating vegetables, but maybe you try things like beans and tofu once a week just to diversify your meals so that you’re getting more plant protein and not eating as much of the saturated fat that comes from animal protein sources.

Kayoll Gyan:

I think that’s so good. I always think about probably one of the most annoying questions I get every day is, “What’s for dinner?” I’m tired. I got to think about work.

Wendy Lopez:

Who’s asking you that?

Kayoll Gyan:

My kids. “What’s for dinner, mommy?” And I’m just like, give me a minute. I don’t even know. What are some things you may tell some of your clients or patients on how to incorporate healthy eating in a practical way within their busy work week?

Practical Tips for Meal Planning

Wendy Lopez:

That’s me as well. I would say trying to simplify eating is going to be helpful, so just having your go-tos. For example, if I don’t have a lot of time, I get home and I’ll just do a chicken quesadilla.

It’s okay to buy pre-made. There’s this idea that everything has to be made from scratch and that that’s better for you. That’s not the case. You could buy a rotisserie chicken that’s already cooked.

Trader Joe’s has a bunch of grilled chicken—different seasoned grilled chickens—and things where in five minutes you have a meal. That’s going to be much better than constantly ordering out or just going hungry.

Just having those convenient foods helps you whip something up really quickly. What you can also do is have cooking base foods. For example, you make a batch of rice or you make a batch of beans, and then you can incorporate it in different ways throughout the week so that you don’t have to constantly reinvent the wheel every day.

I personally don’t like repeating meals more than twice. So I’ll cook things separately and then if I made some stewed fish, for example, I’ll mix up what I’m having it with so I’m not getting bored.

Cassandra Dell:

I love that. Food is to be not only healthy for you, but to be enjoyed. Dominican Republic, Jamaica, Haiti on my part—a big aspect of growing up was enjoying it without even having to think.

As we get older, we’re more mindful. I will cook the rice and add some quinoa to it to make a rice-quinoa blend, or add some beans to it to make sure that it’s going down with some fiber because rice and beans is a staple.

We overdo it. The whole plate sometimes looks like rice. So I will say, okay, where’s the green? Where’s the color in this? I think that makes me a little bit more mindful.

Wendy, are you a person that typically prepares these batches on a Sunday and then maybe again on a Tuesday? How does your plan in the day-to-day preparation of food look like?

Wendy Lopez:

Usually, I’ll do it on Sunday for half the week. My husband and I both cook, so we’ll kind of alternate. I’ll make food for half the week and then he’ll make food for the other half of the week.

We try to plan it on Sunday so we know what to buy. We’re still making little things throughout the week. We both work from home, so it’s a little different. We have the convenience of hopping to the kitchen and quickly whipping something up.

If I were going into work, I would probably just have most things prepared one day a week. Otherwise, you get home, the commute is exhausting, and you don’t have the energy to make food after work.

Cassandra Dell:

With all of this and you being in practice for so long, is there anything that is surprising or alarming that you’ve learned about food, whether it be about sourcing or people getting into small gardens in their windows? What are some things that are surprising, in a good way or bad, about food these days for you?

Food Sourcing and Organic Labeling

Wendy Lopez:

I feel like I’ve been in the field for so long that I’m not necessarily surprised. But one thing that a lot of people would find surprising, that was surprising to me when I learned more about it, was that foods that are labeled organic also have pesticides.

It’s just that the pesticides are considered organic pesticides and they have to use so much more of it because it’s not as effective, especially for these companies that are producing large scale.

That’s why I’m really big on supporting local farmers because they don’t have these large-scale operations usually. You can talk to them when you go to the farmer’s market. They’ll tell you what their practices are. I used to work at farmer’s markets; that’s how I got started in nutrition.

They’ll even offer to have you visit the farm and learn about their farming practices. You’re also supporting the local economy. The food is not traveling as far, so it tends to be more nutritious.

I think people who are trying to eat healthier default to buying everything organic and think that’s going to be the solve. But it’s a lot more complicated than that.

It’s more important to think about what you can do consistently to incorporate more nutritious foods versus everything having to have this specific label, because those things, you got to take it with a grain of salt.

Kayoll Gyan:

I definitely learned something. I didn’t know that it was just a big difference and that they could potentially be using more pesticides than regular food. Cassandra and I are both breast cancer survivors.

When I was first diagnosed and after going through all the testing, I had no genetic predisposition for it. I thought I was living a pretty ideal, healthy lifestyle. Overall, I just didn’t understand how a cancer diagnosis could be something I was going through.

One of the things I was thinking about was food because I was the type of person that would eat whatever I want because I would work out. After having children and starting a career, things got so busy that I wasn’t necessarily working out as much, but I tried to adjust the type of things I would eat.

I was thinking, “Man, did I eat something wrong over the years that accumulated into something that caused this breast cancer?” I was trying to rationalize how this could have possibly happened to me.

Now we know so much research on the food and the gut microbiome and its link to cancer and all these other things, and just how important lifestyle and diet is in the prevention of so many different diseases.

But it’s costly. It’s expensive to do these things. Not everybody can afford this. Even me who has a good job—it’s expensive for me. I’m just like, how do people balance buying organic with buying what’s affordable for them and their families, especially for their children, if they’re trying to stay on a budget while making healthy decisions for themselves?

Holistic Health and Disease Prevention

Wendy Lopez:

It gets very expensive. That’s why I think it’s important to be flexible with food and why I really don’t recommend the perfectionist approach with sourcing.

It’s going to be way more healthy to eat a good variety of foods, especially plant-based foods, even if they’re not organic, than skipping them entirely.

What I’ve seen when people want to go for just all organic is if they don’t have access to it or it’s really expensive, they just end up not eating the food at all. That’s what we want to avoid because then you’re having a low fiber intake and a low vitamin and mineral intake from the nutrition that these foods provide.

I think it’s important to have that flexibility because these foods are so nutritious. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re not going to provide you with good nutrition. With things like cancer, there are so many different factors at play.

Nutrition is one part of it, but also stress is very important, as are sleep, movement, and environmental factors that a lot of times we have no control over.

Living in New York City, the pollution, especially when you’re from places like the Bronx, which is where I’m from, it’s very polluted and all of those things play a role. There are people that eat what would be considered perfect and do all the right things and it still happens.

But there are things that you can do to reduce your risk, like getting quality sleep, trying to reduce your stress levels, and moving your body. With nutrition, it’s very well documented that eating in a plant-forward way is going to be very helpful for reducing your risk for a range of different conditions.

That doesn’t mean you have to be vegan or even vegetarian or pescatarian. It just means that your meals revolve around plant foods. In a lot of our cultures, the meal revolves more around the meat. That’s the star.

Or half of the plate is rice. It’s about restructuring that. You can still enjoy the foods you usually consume, but you’re adding more plant foods, vegetables, beans, and avocado.

Kayoll Gyan:

I love that.

Cassandra Dell:

And you know what’s really important that I think about, too? It’s not just about the ingredients, but how you cook it. Your girl always likes a deep-fried thing every now and then. I love fried fish, for example, but there are days where I’ll just cook it in a sauce.

I’ll top it with some okra to give it a little bit more robustness as I’m eating it. It’s not just about the ingredients, but how we’re preparing it. Are we taking the nutritious value out of it all the time?

I know with collard greens, for example, we tend to add pork and people like it a little bit more fatty. Seasoning your food—we love the seasoning—but we also need to think about the ways that we’re preparing.

Kayoll and I are both two breast cancer survivors, and inflammation and chronic disease seem to be an area of focus for the population as we age. We’re exposed to more. There’s conversation about plastics.

There are a lot of health challenges that even the younger population is working through. Have you ever had a personal health challenge that you’ve worked through or are working through? How are you using food or lifestyle changes as a means of healing yourself?

Adjusting to Life Transitions and Aging

Wendy Lopez:

At this point in life, I feel like I have a pretty good routine because of my years in the field. I’ve been able to really fine-tune and figure out what works best for me.

I’m a very intuitive eater, so I’ll kind of tweak things along the way. For example, I used to eat mostly plant-based, but then I got married and my husband is a big meat eater. I’ve been incorporating more meat just because it’s easier since we’re cooking together.

That’s been an adjustment—how do I still incorporate the plant foods that I enjoy with these adjustments? I was telling Cassandra that recently I went through IVF and I literally just finished the cycle a few weeks ago.

I have been thinking about how nutrition might influence fertility and adjustments that I can make. I even scheduled an appointment to meet with a dietitian so I can learn a little bit more about fine-tuning.

I’m getting older. Okay, I need a little bit more iron. Maybe I’m not absorbing things as well. I also have a thyroid condition, so my metabolism has slowed down. How do I adjust for that?

I’m happy to be in that place where it’s more of just adjusting. I know for some people, they’ve always had a very fraught relationship with food and it works in extremes where they’re doing yo-yo dieting or they develop a good routine but then completely revert and feel very out of control.

I’ve never really had that experience, but it’s always fine-tuning. Our bodies are changing as we’re getting older. For women entering perimenopause, that’s going to be a huge shift with nutrition and hormones.

As our bodies are changing, we have to also change the way that we do things so we feel our best. It doesn’t necessarily mean that your body is failing you or that you’re doing the wrong thing.

Kayoll Gyan:

That’s so true. I’ve never actually worked with a registered dietitian before. I was skimming someone’s website and thought, “Wow, some of the services that they offer, I would love to talk to someone.”

But it doesn’t register to me as something that I could use my insurance for or see as a specialty. When I think of a doctor, I think of a PCP or a dentist.

I’ve never actually said, “Maybe I should make an appointment with a registered dietitian.” Can you tell us what an initial consultation or an appointment with them looks like? Is it more acute or long-term?

The Role of a Registered Dietitian

Wendy Lopez:

It depends on the practice you’re working with and the setting. There are dietitians that work in different settings. For example, there are oncology dietitians that you might have come across when you were doing cancer treatment.

They make sure that you’re getting nourishment throughout your treatment, and that’s more acute. There are dietitians that work in the ICU and dietitians that work in outpatient settings in community clinics.

With private practice, usually the sessions are going to be a lot more thorough and longer. I work in private practice. We’re meeting with people anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half. It’s very different from going in and out of an office.

You do a very thorough assessment of what the concerns are and then it’s almost like food therapy. You are going in maybe weekly or every other week, and you’re getting to know your practitioner while developing goals and figuring out what kind of support you need.

For people that have a lot of body image issues or disordered eating, they’re probably going to meet more frequently. If you’re looking for preventative care or to address a specific condition, you might start weekly, but then move to biweekly and then monthly.

With our patients, we usually work with them for at least a year. They come to us pretty consistently and they have a care team. A lot of people don’t know that a lot of these services are covered by insurance.

There might be a therapist involved, and we might collaborate with them if there’s disordered eating happening. We collaborate with endocrinologists, oncologists, and the whole healthcare team to make sure that we’re all on the same page.

It’s important to take advantage of your insurance benefits. For most of our patients, they don’t pay anything and they get covered for unlimited sessions. I’ve paired my husband with some of our dietitians so that he can work with them.

Now that I’m on this fertility journey, I booked my own appointment. I want to see a dietitian to see if there’s something I don’t know that they could suggest. It’s the same thing with therapists—we recommend therapists seek therapy as well.

Cassandra Dell:

I love that. Health is really a holistic approach. I love how you mentioned that multiple physicians and healthcare professionals work together to address you as an individual.

We mentioned food, moving your body, and community. Part of Stage Hope is really tapping into the joy and hope in the mind. From a spiritual practice or a mental health or mindfulness practice, how does that play into your health and your hope in life?

Spiritual Practices and Finding Presence

Wendy Lopez:

My practice is always evolving, but it’s very subtle. I always start the day doing some deep breathing and meditation. I wake up and before I actually get out of bed, I’ll do it for maybe 10 or 15 minutes.

I pray and, again, that’s very subtle. I’m not necessarily going to church every day, but I incorporate it into my day-to-day in a way that feels authentic to me. I’m very intuitive with that, too. I kind of take what I need.

When I go to DR, I visit my ancestors who have passed away, like my grandparents, and I’ll pray to them. I’m a very strong believer that I’m very well protected and I feel very connected to a higher power.

That definitely helps, especially in hard moments when you’re struggling. Whether it’s with your health or just in life, I feel like it really helps ground you and give you perspective.

Cassandra Dell:

Speaking of working through challenges, part of Stage Hope is exactly that—how do we provide hope and joy and purpose as we move forward in our respective endeavors? How do you personally find hope in your life, in the work that you do, or even just personally as an individual?

Wendy Lopez:

Especially during challenging times, what gives me hope is knowing that everything is temporary. Whether it’s good moments, bad moments, or just “blah” moments, everything is temporary and things pass.

Practicing presence to me is really important. Let me just fully dive into what I’m feeling right now so I can experience the depth of those really great moments and also the depth of the not-so-great moments.

I’m very much a feeler. I’m a Cancer, too, so I’m okay just crying through my day if I need to. I’m okay fully diving into whatever it is that I’m feeling and just being with those emotions. Practicing that presence is really important.

Then also just being like, okay, there are better days to come if you’re going through a really hard time. Look at the track record. If you look at your life and the hard moments that you’ve had, you always persevere because we’re very resilient people.

Kind of using that as proof of what is to come. Sometimes we just stay in the funk, but no, I’ve gotten through hard things before.

Cassandra Dell:

I love that. Growing up, being a first daughter and being of the Caribbean, it was very easy to dismiss emotions. A lot of the practice was just, “Pray it away,” or, “This is not worth crying about.”

I love that you even mentioned that you allow yourself to process the emotion because I’m learning to do that now. Just release it. There’s an unnecessary tension that we hold when we’re trying to just be this big, strong woman of color. We already have enough.

When you hold space to let yourself debrief in that way, it releases tension in a way that I’m inviting now in my life. I’m not seeing it as a sign of weakness. My mother-in-law mentions that crying is like weakness leaving the body.

Whether it be pain or tension, I choose to change it. It’s like tension wanting to sort of make its way out somewhere.

Kayoll Gyan:

It’s a stress reliever, too.

Cassandra Dell:

It’s a stress reliever. I think oftentimes we don’t—especially our men—leave room to do that. It’s something that I constantly think about as my husband and I make this life together because the lift can be heavy at times.

Embracing a Slower Pace of Life

Wendy Lopez:

Absolutely. It’s important to also just sit with things because we’re in this fast-paced culture. We’re always rushing to the next best thing and social media has not helped with that.

You might not be feeling great and you’re just focused on, “How can I feel better? What’s next?” Or you’re experiencing a great thing and you’re already thinking, “What’s the next best thing?”

We should just sit with whatever it is—enjoying it or even not enjoying it. This practice of slowing down is something that I am fully embracing as I’m entering my 40s.

I look back and I’m like, damn, these past few years have been a blur. There has been so much going on.

Cassandra Dell:

The younger generations, they’re overstimulated. We had commercials. Now, god forbid, if YouTube is on and I’m giving them something educational—I want them to learn Creole—it’s over and it’s like, “Mommy, what’s next?” No, we’re allowed to just play with puzzles and color.

Kayoll Gyan:

Go be bored. It’s okay to be bored. You don’t need to be lights, camera, action all the time.

Cassandra Dell:

Absolutely. So, speaking of that, what’s the word of advice for those listening that you can share around hope, health, joy, and purpose in your life?

Advice on Identity and Self-Care

Wendy Lopez:

I would say take some time for yourself, especially for those of us who are caring for others in one way or another. It’s really important to slow down and ask yourself what it is that you need.

For women, we are always serving other people, our families, especially for those who are more nurturing. You have to really create those boundaries for yourself and ask yourself what you need.

How can others be of service to you versus you always being a well of generosity? That can completely drain you. With time, you start forgetting who you are or what you enjoy doing.

It’s really important as women that we affirm ourselves. Especially once we start having children and get married, you have to also maintain that sense of identity. Who are you outside of those things? What are you doing for yourself?

Cassandra Dell:

I love that. It’s so necessary. We get so caught up doing that we’re not being. I find myself in that bag and I wake up in the morning and it’s just progress, produce, call, text, message.

Taking the time to just slow down without the guilt, without the “I need to make this up,” is a practice I’m trying to invite now more than ever, especially after what I’ve been through in this past year.

Kayoll Gyan:

I agree. For me, that has been on the forefront because I’m a person where when my eyes open, it’s go time. Now I am being intentional with slowing down, managing stress, and trying to figure out a way to incorporate movement into my day.

I’m not successful at it yet, but it’s something I need to be more intentional with. Giving myself grace with work and not letting that be the center of my world anymore is key.

I have a deadline and I’m working towards it, but I’m trying to find a place of peace. I want to still do the work but not let it increase my blood pressure or the anxiety in my body.

If I get it done, great. If not, I’m going to be all right. This work is going to be all right. There will be another deadline in the future, but I’m not letting that take such a toll on my inner person anymore.

Cassandra Dell:

Time has showed us that we’re getting through it better than we think. Oftentimes you have the tools, but when the urgent matter shows itself, the brain rattles and loses focus.

Whether it be working through health challenges or personal and professional challenges, I really want to take heed of being mindful in the thick of it. I want to ask, “Okay, who do I need to call?” or “Am I afraid to ask the manager or the boss if this can wait?”

Am I afraid to ask the next guest on the podcast if this can be pushed back? I really want to affirm myself that what is for me will be for me. I don’t need to hoard a situation and act like it’s now or never.

Wendy Lopez:

A thousand percent.

Cassandra Dell:

Last but certainly not least, we want to keep a cycle going with our guests where they leave an incoming guest a question. Tell us, is there something that someone would not expect of you? Something I can’t Google? What is something that we don’t know about Wendy Lopez?

Personal Passions and Closing Remarks

Wendy Lopez:

Something that you know, Cassandra, but many people don’t know, is that I really like home design and renovation.

Cassandra Dell:

She’s good at it, y’all.

Kayoll Gyan:

I was going to talk about it. I’ve been following your construction in DR now. It’s amazing—the tiling, the artwork, the paint. I love it.

Wendy Lopez:

I really like it. Career change? I don’t know. But that’s something a lot of people don’t know I enjoy doing. Creatively, it helps fill those juices for me.

The question I would ask for the incoming guest is: How do you make time for yourself? I think that’ll give us all ideas. We’re always looking for ways to take care of ourselves better, so it would be great to hear some gems from the next guest.

Cassandra Dell:

I love that. Where can people find you?

Wendy Lopez:

You can go to diabetesdigital.co. That is my business for nutrition counseling. We offer preventative nutrition and nutrition for all types of health conditions, fully covered by insurance from the comfort of your home.

You can check us out there and you’ll find that we have a podcast as well. We’re also on socials and everything else.

Kayoll Gyan:

That is so cool. Thank you for being here, Wendy. And shout out to Sigma and Mu Rho that brought us all together.

Wendy Lopez:

I know! 20 years later. You never know where a connection might lead. I’m happy we got to reconnect and I’m so excited about your podcast.

I feel like more of these conversations are needed. I love that you’re using this as an outlet to make sense of everything happening in your life, but also to connect with other people who are experiencing similar things.

Kayoll Gyan:

That’s the goal. It definitely came out of a struggle, a life experience that was unexpected. But so much beauty comes out of ashes. The Bible says He makes beauty out of ashes, and I think this is something that can be born from a period in our life that was such a challenge.

Wendy Lopez:

One thousand percent. Thank you for the work you’re doing, ladies.

Cassandra Dell:

Thank you.

Kayoll Gyan:

Thank you for being with us, Wendy. This is amazing.

Do you find yourself trapped in a cycle of starting projects but struggling to cross the finish line? In this episode of Stage Hope, Kayoll and Cassandra explore the transformative power of daily self-reflection and how to break free from the heavy pressure of doing it all. Tune in to learn how shifting your focus to doing “less better” can help you reclaim your time, energy, and overall peace of mind.

The co-hosts open up about the realities of juggling motherhood, demanding careers, and how surviving a life-altering breast cancer diagnosis radically shifted their approach to time management and work-life balance. They break down actionable self-development strategies, including the ARC framework for beating procrastination and the bold concept of “heading to the red” when faced with daunting tasks. You’ll hear an honest conversation about setting boundaries, the hidden dangers of perfectionism, and why relying on a strong spiritual foundation can help center your daily actions. Will working harder on yourself than your job actually cure your burnout, or is the real secret to personal growth simply learning to embrace the chaos?

If you are ready to set intentional goals for the season ahead, make sure to subscribe and leave a review!

Introduction and Current Challenges

Kayoll Gyan: Hello. Welcome to another episode of Stage Hope. How are you doing today, Cass?

Cassandra Dell: I find that I’m in a space of reflection and just trying to invite more ease. All in all, the day is pushing through very nicely. I cannot complain. How about you?

Kayoll Gyan: I am working on this grant application that’s due internally January 2nd. I’m in the midst of it right now. I have drafted parts of it and sent it up. I just finished meeting with one of my mentors for feedback, which was a really good conversation.

I was in the middle of adjusting it to resend it out to everybody, but I have a few more sections that I need to draft that have been coming slowly. I have about three weeks left to my deadline, so I’m feeling a bit tense as the days are creeping by.

I’m trying to stay calm, positive, and prayerful. God knows I need to do this and he’ll help me. I’m trying to take a piece of your calmness and a piece of your zen-ness right now to get through this day.

Cassandra Dell: All I say is that you got this. I always feel like we never understand how the solution is going to fall, especially when we have a lot to do. I am trusting that you’re going to get this done, and it will be well received.

I have a space for that because I know the agita associated with deadlines. You’re like, “Get off me,” but it’s approaching and you will get it done.

Kayoll Gyan: Thank you. Thank you so much.

Reflecting on Goals and Values

Cassandra Dell: Speaking of trying to invite more ease and the current situations we have going on in our lives, we felt that it would be a really nice focus to share with the audience what’s on our minds.

What are our goals? What are our values? What are some habits and actions that we want to do more of as the year progresses, and what are some things that we’re trying to X out?

Based on all of the moving parts we have in our lives, I think it’s a good time of reflection. It’s always a good time to just be still for a little bit so that we can process, take in, and remove what we need to in order to be better.

We’ll probably volley into this. Cut me off if you need to, because I’m wordy. Let’s just dive right in. I am going to ask that Dr. Kayoll Gyan go first.

The Importance of Daily Self-Reflection

Kayoll Gyan: Okay. We were talking about some things that we’re trying to work on. I was telling Cassandra that my husband and I started listening to more self-development speakers, like motivational speakers.

Frank put me on to this guy named Jim Rohn. He’s a motivational speaker and he’s just been playing him throughout the day in the house and in the background. I started listening to him and thinking, “Who is Jim Rohn?”

He’s known in the self-development space for advocating for self-development as a way to success. He talks a lot about the importance of responsibility, hard work, and self-discipline to reach one’s potential.

In listening to a few of his messages, his lectures or lessons, he has been talking a lot about self-reflection and the importance of doing that. He gave an example: if you were in a business, when would be the right time to evaluate what is going on?

You wouldn’t wait five years down the line to look at a business. By then, it’s been off track and things are going down. That’s too late. Is it the first day you start something? No, that may be too early.

He talks about the importance of self-reflection in our daily life. Time is such a valuable asset that we can’t get back once it’s gone. At the end of each day, taking a few minutes before you go to bed just to sit and reflect about what you did that day.

Did you do something well? Was there something that was hard? Was there something that you felt you could have done a little better or a situation you could have handled differently?

The idea of self-reflection is not something that I have done consistently. I know there’s value in it, but I just have not consistently done that. Once I make a plan, I just go through and do it, and if things aren’t working, then I stop and look.

It’s not really reflexive or intentional in the way that I’ve done it before leading up to this point. So we have been having conversations about how we can be more reflective as individuals, but also as a family with our children.

What are the goals that we’re writing down that we want for ourselves and how are we taking action? The other part he talks about is that goals on paper are nice, but if there’s no action to it, it’s not going to do anything.

Cassandra Dell: It’s just a dream.

Kayoll Gyan: Right? It’s just a dream. So what are the actions that we’re going to take towards these goals, and then the reflective piece to check in with ourselves and each other about how we’re doing? I don’t know, are you big on reflection? Are you intentional in that way?

Balancing Ideation and Action

Cassandra Dell: Man, I think I probably do too much reflection, I might say. Sometimes I tend to be so reflective that I’m not taking action. Everything is in the ideation phase or it’s wonder.

I’m wondering what I should do next. I’m thinking I should do it next. I find that I brew so much that I feel like stored potential energy. When are you actually taking action? What does getting stronger physically feel like?

It’s not just the mindset of, “I think I could work out today,” but just letting it be imperfect. To your question, I think this past 365 days, I’ve been more reflective than I have probably ever been in my life.

It’s not consistent every day because I find that the sheer pace of the week changes. I create some grace in how it looks, but I do want to build more consistency. I’m trying to figure out what that looks like, whether it be in the morning or towards the evening.

Kayoll Gyan: Do you think you are stuck on perfection? Are you a perfectionist?

Cassandra Dell: Yes and no. I find that I am a starter, but I want to work on closing. I’m trying to be a Kobe Bryant. Who is the closer? Who are you going to pass the ball to when you are met with a challenge?

It’s not that we all don’t have challenges. It’s how are you closing it? How are you not letting it brew and grow and become this big cloud that just expands? How do you close it so that you can make more time for efficiency?

Part of the things I’m segueing into is that I want to do less better. I have so many tabs open. I’m about to coin this trademark. I want to do less better. There are so many different aspects of our lives: spiritual, financial, mental, creativity.

When I think about all the spinning plates, I try to look at 24 hours or a week and say, “What were you doing?” Part of being an adult, and more specifically being a parent, is you’re always going to be cleaning.

Kayoll Gyan: Say that again. Yeah.

Cassandra Dell: I saw a post that was like, “90% of our lives is cleaning and cooking.” It’s just the day to day. How are you taking the busy hum of life and saying, “Yes, I know I need to clean, but I also want to do this and this”?

What I find is I’ve picked up so many things that I’m not becoming an expert or efficient at anything. I’m just doing a lot of little things.

Kayoll Gyan: Isn’t there a phrase for that? Like when people become a jack of all trades, master of none.

Cassandra Dell: Master of none. I want to ask myself to be better at being more selective so that I don’t have the engine running all the time. I want to put my energy towards the things that I want to drive to the finish line by the end of 2026.

Less brewing. I have done away with a planner, and people know I love my stencils and my little stickers and I like making things look good. But what I’ve been trying to do more of is: What do you have to do? What would be nice to have? And what do you need to let go of?

I always want to work out. Doing less better is part of it. I know you two are juggling a lot of things. What are your thoughts on that?

Overcoming Procrastination through Purpose

Kayoll Gyan: I resonate a lot with what you said about finishing what you start. I have so many projects going on. I’m writing so many different papers, and I have trouble finishing them out.

I will start it, write it, and get through the analysis. But I find that the last bit that needs to be done—the last bit of concentration to sit, format it, check for grammar—is sometimes so hard for me to get back to.

I have so many projects that are in that “almost finished” stage. I don’t need them to be almost; I need them to be done and off my to-do list so I can feel satisfaction when I finally cross them out. I do need to be better at finishing what I start.

Cassandra Dell: Let’s dig into that. It’s a beautiful thing to bring recognition to it and have the self-awareness. What do you feel like is preventing you from closing out anything? What is that?

Kayoll Gyan: Whenever I have certain things to do, I start thinking about it. Thinking about it sometimes makes it feel overwhelming to go back and reorient myself. I need to go back to the thing quicker.

In that space of other things coming up, the distance creates a kind of anxiety to go back and finish. Then I procrastinate. It’s a terrible cycle. I know it, and sometimes I still fall into it.

Listening to this guy, he talks about purpose. When your actions align with your purpose, it makes things easier to fall in line. I have been trying to reshape my thinking so that I connect what I’m doing with a bigger purpose.

I’m not just writing a paper to write a paper. I’m writing a paper because the topic is important and I think it will help other people. I’ve worked with people to get this far, and I owe them and myself the satisfaction of pushing it to the finish line as a testament to our hard work.

I’ve been trying to change my thinking to make things less tense when I have trouble getting up. You’re not always going to feel motivated. But I have heard that if you connect your actions to your purpose and what God has put you here to do, then you realize what you’re doing is bigger than you. It’s bigger than these small, tense feelings I feel. So, get over it.

Cassandra Dell: This is resonating with me. For you, it’s very much the act of purpose. I’ve been listening to Charles Duhigg, and he teaches something that goes by the acronym of ARC. A is anticipation: How am I creating a looking-forward-to mindset?

R is relaxation: How am I letting my central nervous system come to grips with it? And C is connection: Making it meaningful or purposeful.

When I have something really big to do, I use a suggestion I got from a manager years back: “Head to the red.” What that means is when you have something that is big or challenging, don’t just scurry to the small things like washing the plates or taking a quick shower.

Kayoll Gyan: You’re avoiding it.

Cassandra Dell: Well, you should shower every day for cleanliness, but do you really need to do that to do the thing that’s due in that moment? I find that I tend to procrastinate because I’m building a sense of agita around sitting down and actually tackling the thing I need to tackle.

I’m like, “Oh yeah, let me call my mom. Let me answer this short email. Let me grab the low-hanging fruit.” Instead, take the energy you have in the morning and dive in instead of dodging it and losing time.

Shifting Perspectives After a Health Crisis

Kayoll Gyan: It’s like we know what to do, but we’ve got to do it. How has being diagnosed with breast cancer and finishing treatment affected how you view time or your purpose?

Cassandra Dell: Time is a currency that I think we all take for granted. When you go through something that challenges your existence, it challenges you in that moment. For those who are able to heal and get past the treatment, you still have your mind to heal. That is a forever life journey.

I tend to savor moments that I was not savoring before. My children are six and three. They need us. They are learning to be small humans, but their EQ is not yet fully developed. I find that I was quick to react in places where I shouldn’t.

I want to be more present. I want to stop the multitasking so I can really be with the people I want to be with and look them in the eye. Before this, I took my health for granted. I would eat anything. If I had to burn the midnight oil, I would.

What that diagnosis has done is made me say that without your health, none of these things are possible. No matter what I have going on, I will literally ask myself, “Have you had water? You’re about to answer this email, but what did you do for yourself?” If the answer is nothing, I will literally get up from what I’m doing.

I’m not playing around with it. I’m praying that doesn’t soften as I go back to work. I’m not even a year out of treatment. When something is super raw, it’s like grief; it’s loud and in your face. I’m curious, with you being a little further away, how has the diagnosis changed the way you move?

Navigating Physical Limits and Priorities

Kayoll Gyan: I finished treatment in 2022, so I’m almost three years removed now. When I finished, I had all this renewed sense of purpose. I didn’t want to stress so much about work. Work was such a big part of the anxiety in me, and I didn’t want that to be the case anymore.

At the time, I didn’t really find what I was doing meaningful. I’m a nurse scientist. I do research on vaccination decisions, which is very important, but I was losing my passion for that topic.

I was consistently studying the role of culture and religion in health decisions as a secondary area, but I didn’t know how to make that shift because so much of my work was already published in the first area.

When I was finished with treatment, I was like, “I’m wasting time. I want to do what I’m actually interested in.” I had a conversation with a world-renowned researcher who said, “Listen, you can’t do both. You have a family, you have children, you are tired. Trying to carry two programs of research is not going to work. If this is what you want to do, just do it.”

That conversation was so freeing. I felt like I was in a box and had to continue with what I started. Since 2022, I’ve been trying to make that transition, and it’s been very slow.

I didn’t realize after treatment that I was really fatigued. I was dealing with issues with concentration. By six o’clock, I would be done. I had no energy, but I was still trying to behave like I did before the diagnosis.

I’m a night person. I would stay up all hours of the night doing work, wake up, and then take the children to school. But I realized I am literally not the same person. I had a hard time figuring out how I function now.

I was just trying to fit what I was doing before into who I am now, and it wasn’t lining up. That gave me a lot of stress. I called my mentor, Jill, one day crying because I thought I was going to lose my job.

She told me, “Listen, your brain is just different now. You’ve just got to figure out how this new brain works and figure out what you’ve got to do with where you are in life.”

Since then, I’ve been trying to figure out my limit. How far can I push myself before I feel too stressed or tired? I used to go to bed at 3 a.m. and wake up at 7 a.m. fully functioning. I can’t do that anymore.

I realized my limit is like midnight or maybe 1 a.m. In those times, Frank knows he has to do the children in the morning because I’m going to need to sleep in to get those hours back.

I’m verbalizing to Frank what I need rather than just trying to figure it out myself. I used to take on everything like I was superwoman, and I’m not. So, I’m figuring out my limit and trying not to fall back into old patterns.

Cassandra Dell: It’s ingrained in us. It’s a part of us.

Kayoll Gyan: Unless you’re intentional, it’s still going to be there. That’s why I’m trying to listen to these self-help people and find something feasible to integrate into my world. I’m still figuring this out three years later.

What does this look like? Eating-wise, being physically active, spiritually sound, and parenting. Knowing now when my children come home, I need to put the work down, turn the computer off, and talk to them. I need to make eye contact and hug them.

Managing Overstimulation and Technology

Cassandra Dell: That part. It’s so funny that we started this conversation with time. A lot of the things we’re mentioning, whether it be being busy at work or asking your husband for help, sounds like discernment.

We’re always going to have these spinning plates. There are going to be days where the demand is on your children and not on work, and then it shifts. We both have two small kids, we’re both married, but my life is not yours.

It’s really important right now where we’re taking in so much information—self-help, spiritual practices, religion. I’m literally ingesting so many things. It’s important to ask what that means in terms of me. How do I make it applicable so that I’m not overstimulating the expectations of what ought to be done?

Kayoll Gyan: Making it even another stressor for yourself because you’re not meeting those goals.

Cassandra Dell: Exactly. We’re taking in a lot of information. I realized I’m listening to so many podcasts and YouTube clips and reels that I am not reading. I can’t remember the last time I read a book in chronological order. I keep starting and then restarting because I forget where I left off.

Kayoll Gyan: I like that we’re in the book club because I learned that listening to audiobooks is reading. I used to wonder how people finish so quickly when I’m used to buying a physical book. Maybe I need to do more audiobooks while I’m on a walk or doing something.

Cassandra Dell: Speaking of technology, one of my actions is that I need to take a pause from social media.

Kayoll Gyan: Girl, don’t we all?

Cassandra Dell: I need to put my phone down. Sometimes a time-taker is not just a meltdown your child is having. The time-taker is in those small moments, like being on my phone right after a meeting or even during one.

I’m devaluing the moment of attention to the movie, to my husband, or to my children because I’m trying to multitask. In moments where I have an opportunity to not have my phone on me, I’m looking for the next thing to do. “Did I message this person?” Can you just give me five minutes?

Kayoll Gyan: I experience that a lot when I’m trying to do my quiet time and read my Bible. All the things I didn’t do come back to my mind. I have to put it off. It’s such a distraction.

Punctuality and Personal Standards

Cassandra Dell: I think even trusting that, yes, we’re going to forget things. If it’s urgent and time-sensitive, sure. But if I tell myself I need tomatoes for a recipe tonight, it’s not a deal-breaker to wait.

Allowing your mind to be more fluid and not trying to busy it up with all the things. I struggle to do nothing. I have this concept that it will build traffic or a bottleneck on the back end.

For example, packing for a trip. My preference is to pack a little bit each day instead of doing it all at once. My husband is better at saying, “This is the moment. I know I need a break. I’m going to take it.”

The Knicks are on, and he doesn’t hear any of us because he’s watching the game. I want that deliberateness. Don’t just muscle through because resilience is some badge of honor. Who are you performing for?

Kayoll Gyan: Are you going to get a sticker at the end?

Cassandra Dell: Part of that is putting social media down so I can properly rest. I commend Dane for that. My husband is a busybody, but he still finds time to do that. Maybe they’re onto something.

Kayoll Gyan: I can’t tune the kids out the way that he does. What kind of magic trick is that?

Cassandra Dell: I really want to tap into that because it is going to be noisy and messy. I want to embrace chaos a little bit more. It’s not going to look like Instagram.

Kayoll Gyan: Instagram is not a real place.

Cassandra Dell: I want to be better at understanding that I’m not in control of how the solution happens. My Type A personality kicks in. How do you handle failure? Like, if you wanted to be at an event at 8:30 and it’s 10:00 and you’re not there. What is the brain response?

Kayoll Gyan: I’m not always the most on-time person. Let me just start by saying that. But there are places where I find it is very important to be on time. Frank, on the other hand, thinks we’ll get there when we get there.

One of those places is the airport. If we have an 8 a.m. flight, they shut the door 15 minutes before takeoff. That means we have to be there by 7:45. To give us an hour for security, that’s 6:45. To leave the house is another hour.

My husband wants to leave the house for an 8 a.m. flight at 7 a.m. He says we can make it. No. It stresses me out. I’m not going to be a happy partner if we’re going late.

I am trying to do my best with being on time now, but I still get places late. I don’t like it because I’m rushing and I feel all the pent-up intensity inside. I’ve been trying to Google traffic and give ourselves 45 minutes to get somewhere on time. Not meeting deadlines is stressful to me.

Cassandra Dell: We’ve talked about reflection and time. I want to go back to things outside of work.

Kayoll Gyan: Even then, I still talk a lot about work. This is crazy to me. I need to let it go.

Setting Specific Goals for Growth

Cassandra Dell: What’s fascinating to me is that work and a flight are the two things where you’ll bend over backwards. I want to apply that energy to other things, like self-development.

Kayoll Gyan: That’s what Jim Rohn was saying. You need to work harder on yourself than you do on your job. That math is not mathing for me because if I have a deadline, the first thing I give up is working out and eating properly.

I need to change that because I know where this path leads. I want to like what I see when I look in the mirror. That includes movement, walking, and physical activity.

Cassandra Dell: Improvement isn’t just about the desire; it’s about having the tools. You’re going to have deadlines. It’s not about perfection; it’s about seeing the deadline and maybe still taking a 15-minute walk.

I don’t think I see the value in it sometimes. I feel like I need to stop everything because the deadline is here. I don’t understand that a workout actually feeds into your brain. So, what are we going to do about this?

Kayoll Gyan: All these things we said we need to do better at. How are we going to do it?

Cassandra Dell: For social media, I need to delete it. I’m an addict. Some people put focus times on their phones, but I need to get rid of it because it’s impulsive. I’m not exempting YouTube, TikTok, or Instagram. I need to put it down.

Number two is planning ahead the night before. Don’t just let tomorrow come. Ask yourself what the non-negotiable is for that day. If I have a busy week, I might try to meal prep on a Saturday instead of Sunday. Sunday is supposed to be the day of rest.

How are you planning for the time instead of trying to make the decision in the moment? Get that notepad and ask yourself where you need to focus. Don’t lie to yourself and create a negative feedback loop.

I want to do less better. I’m going to stop beating myself up so I can recover faster. If I miss something, I move forward instead of dwelling on what already transpired. I’m going to make my bed in the morning; it takes 30 seconds.

I want to find small visual “yeses” in my day. While I love the comfort of sweats, I feel good when I’m dressed up. I’m going to shop my closet more. Less consumerism. Maybe it’s a pop of red lip or a different nail polish to spice up the day. It creates something to look forward to.

Kayoll Gyan: You’ve said a lot. When there are a lot of things we want to improve on, tackling it all at once is hard. Picking one thing to try for the month may be a good start.

Cassandra Dell: What are the top three things in front of mind right now for you?

Kayoll Gyan: I want more movement. I work from home a lot, and I feel like I don’t go outside. I want to be more intentional with going somewhere that requires me to move. I’ve always been an athlete, but in adulthood, it’s been hard to be active.

I joined a running club in North Carolina, but since moving to Boston, I haven’t integrated that consistently. Physical activity is a social activity for me, too. I’ve been thinking about trying [solidcore] or Pilates.

I tried to join an adult basketball league, but the place burned down, so that’s on hold. I want to be consistent with putting movement first two or three days a week.

Second, I want to do more reflecting at the end of the day. Having that quiet time to think about what I did and what I want to do better. Writing, journaling, and talking to God about it.

I did that a lot while I was in treatment, but the routine of life pulled me away from that “me time.” I want to be more mindful and intentional with that. I’ll stick with those two for now.

Spiritual Alignment and Mental Clarity

Cassandra Dell: My top few things are doing less better. I want to do a group class because they motivate me. But since they are far away, sometimes I’m not as motivated. There’s a park around the block that’s more accessible. Can I just lift 10 pounds at the house?

The second thing is organization. The mail is piling up. I want to avoid rushing out the house and coming back to a whirlwind. Maybe that means purging. While I’m in a session at work, I can have a trash bag and throw out stuff I don’t need.

The third thing is grounding myself spiritually through meditation, community, and nature. Getting connected with people and myself.

Kayoll Gyan: What are you going to start with? I think we should pick one for this month, or maybe for the next two months to give ourselves some grace.

Cassandra Dell: Before I can think, the month is gone. If we divide the year into quarters, January to March, we can practice one or two things. What’s the “game changer” for you?

Kayoll Gyan: I would do two because of the overachiever in me. Reflection is at the end of the day, so I can find time for that. Spending time reflecting and reading my Bible is one. The other is physical activity. I feel like I can focus on those two.

Cassandra Dell: You can so do this. It’s just a time management thing. Where in the circle of things can you insert this?

Kayoll Gyan: I’ve had to ask myself what my walk with Christ looks like. It doesn’t have to look like an hour of reading every day. If I go through my day with my heart postured on having a continuous conversation with Christ, that is meaningful.

It’s a relationship. I talk, but I must also listen and subject myself to his will. Seeking him is the first one because everything else flows from that for me.

Cassandra Dell: Centering yourself in your religious practice, and everything else will follow suit.

Kayoll Gyan: Sometimes going for a walk will be the physical part, where I’m talking to God but also moving my body. They can work together.

Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Cassandra Dell: I totally get this. My top two are organization and discernment. I have too many tabs open. I am discounting what disorder does to my psychological energy.

I’m asking for my inner voice to speak with me and ask for wisdom. What is for me, and what do I need to put down without feeling like I’m missing an opportunity? What is for you is for you. You don’t have to spread yourself this thin. Those are my top two non-negotiables for the next 90 days.

Kayoll Gyan: I love that. All right, girl, we’ve got to do this.

Cassandra Dell: I already put it in the calendar for two weeks from now. I’m going to give you a soft nudge.

Kayoll Gyan: I’m going to start all this probably January 2nd, after I press submit on this deadline. In the meantime, I’m going to at least think about what type of activity I want to join.

For those listening, let us know what things you are working on for the new year. What are you trying to do better for yourself?

Cassandra Dell: We’re all learning as we go. When you tap into your network and people navigating similar situations, you learn a lot. I’m open to that, too. Until next time, y’all. Thanks for listening.

Kayoll Gyan: Be hopeful.

Cassandra Dell: Be hopeful.

Meet Cassandra Dell and Dr. Kayoll Gyan - an engineer and a nurse scientist, two mothers, and friends who are done waiting for the ‘right time’ to share their stories. In this debut episode of the Stage Hope Podcast, they rip the Band-Aid off and open up about theirbreast cancer diagnoses, treatment journeys, and what it really means to find hope on the other side of a life-altering experience.

From the gut-punch of reading “carcinoma” on a patient chart to making impossible decisions about fertility in the middle of a cancer fight, Cassandra and Kayoll walk through the raw, unfiltered reality of young motherhood colliding with a breast cancer diagnosis. They explore the emotional weight of the diagnostic waiting period, the grief of plans interrupted, and how faith, community, and identity shift when life throws its hardest curveball. What stands out is their shared commitment to talking about cancer not from a place of fear, but from one of resilience, purpose, and even joy - proving that vulnerability and courage are two sides of the same coin.

If this conversation resonated with you, subscribe to the Stage Hope Podcast so you never miss an episode, and leave a review to help others find this community of hope and honest conversation.

Transcript

Cassandra Dell:

Hey, it’s Cassandra Dell.

Kayoll Gyan:

And Dr. Kayoll Gyan.

Cassandra Dell:

And you’re tuned into the Stage Hope Podcast, a place where you can check out from the weight of your everyday worry and...

Kayoll Gyan:

Check in for joy, hopefully some laughs, and skills to do life better to help you center your well-being.

Cassandra Dell:

Welcome, everybody.

Kayoll Gyan:

Man, we are finally here, Cassandra.

Cassandra Dell:

We are here today! So this project, this idea has been a long time coming for the both of us. We both walk different seasons and continue to in our lives, but we are centered and grounded in this project we are kicking off today, right now.

Kayoll Gyan:

I know. I’m excited. I feel like this is something we’ve talked about for so long, whether or not we do it, and the nervousness that comes with doing something so public with such a personal experience. I’m excited and nervous, but excited more to see where this takes us.

Cassandra Dell:

Absolutely. I was talking to a friend about this experience, and it was interesting. I don’t know what we’ll ultimately name the episode, but she was like—and I’m going to use profanity for the sake of this, for the children in the back of the cars that might be listening—she was like, “This is a big ass rip the Band-Aid and go.”

Maybe that captures the attention of everybody. But it is such a private thing. We are choosing to be vulnerable and step into courage in hopes that this will add value to anyone listening.

Kayoll Gyan:

We’re both breast cancer survivors. It’s always the first big Band-Aid. Who do you tell? When do you tell people about this? Even in that early stage of it, there are several Band-Aids that need to be ripped off at different stages.

Since we’re both at the point where we finished active treatment and we’re now in survivorship, it’s another Band-Aid in the sense of, okay, how do we share our story and do it in a way that is honest and compassionate?

We want to be real and hopeful and not necessarily focus so much on the negative aspect of a cancer diagnosis. We know that’s hard, obviously. What bits of hope or truth or joy can we pull from what we went through? I think that’s what we’re trying to accomplish here with this.

Introducing the Hosts

Cassandra Dell:

We’re just going to kick off and really just start telling the audience who we are. I’m going to let you go first.

Kayoll Gyan:

What? Me? I was going to let you go first.

Cassandra Dell:

Okay, okay. I’ll take the mic. Precluding this whole episode, I wanted to ask myself: who is Cassandra Dell?

Kayoll Gyan:

Yeah, I think that’s a good question. Let’s start with, who is Cassandra Dell?

Cassandra Dell:

Who is Cassandra Dell? I am first a Haitian-American. Shout out to my people, okay? We qualified after 50 years. This is very timely. This head wrap is the closest thing I had to red.

Shout out to the Haitian team qualifying for the World Cup after 50 years. I am a Haitian American and I’m excited about that. I am a mother and a wife, a mother of two.

I am a curious person. I would always say charismatic in how I approach, so I can be high energy, but I’m also very introverted. By profession, I studied engineering, but I am in marketing right now as a product manager.

Then the things I like to do for fun: I love to play in makeup and skincare. I love group exercise classes as of late. There are small projects I’m trying to pick up that I feel like are pieces of me, like knitting, but that’s been hard to get to.

I love just being active. I also enjoy mentoring young women and being in a sorority. I enjoy the space of creating community and networking in a way that is genuine, that collectively helps us get better—as I would say, greater together.

I just love being in spaces like that. Anything that is for the progress and bringing light and enhancement to our cultures and our community, I am absolutely here for it. So that’s enough about me.

Kayoll Gyan:

I love that. First you’re an engineer and then all these community things that you like. I think it’s so diverse having so many different lanes that we occupy at the same time. How about me?

How would I describe myself? First, I am a child of God. I’m a believer. I’m a Christian. I am Jamaican. At this point, we didn’t qualify for the World Cup, but still, Jamaica to the world. Let’s go.

Right now, I’m living in Massachusetts, in Boston, but I’m from Brooklyn, New York. I grew up there as well. I’m a mother. I have two boys, and I am a wife as well. I am a person that likes exploring. I like trying new things.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve kind of shifted away from those things that I like and focus more so on things that I have to do, like work, children, and family. I’m trying to get back to trying different things to find out again, what do I like?

How can I fit that into my busy schedule? It’s not always about work. There’s more to life than just what you need to do for a paycheck. I’m hoping that this podcast is one of those spaces for me to explore different identities again.

I’m a big sports fan. I love sports. Basketball is my favorite thing in the world. I always tell Frank that if I didn’t do this, I would love to be a sports journalist or an athlete of some sort.

I’d love just being around the game of basketball, interviewing athletes, talking about their work ethic, how they become great at what they do, and just all the details of that. I really am a big sports fan.

Cassandra Dell:

I love that for you. You tapped into something that was so important. When you become a mom, although we’ve held that role for a short period of time in our lives, it’s something that holds precedence, not only in time but finances and how we occupy space.

It’s a title and a position that we have that maybe takes us sometimes from the creative and leisure parts of our lives. We’ll be talking about that as we grow and develop in this space. So the elephant in the room—the Band-Aid. Let’s just tear it up, okay?

Cassandra’s Journey with Cancer

Kayoll Gyan:

Tell us about your cancer experience, Cassandra. When were you diagnosed? How did you find out? How did that affect you and your treatment experience? I know I’m asking like ten questions right now, but pick from any and start wherever you want.

Cassandra Dell:

I’m not going to even shy away from saying the word: cancer. It is something that you never expect to happen to yourself. Particularly when it was not even a whisper in my family at all. It is something that I saw “out there.”

It was October of last year. To take a step back to September, I felt an “invader” in my breast. I said to myself, “That’s awfully weird that it was there and out of nowhere.” I said, “Okay, don’t panic. It’s probably just a cyst or some sort of benign thing.”

I did my due diligence and headed to my OBGYN. I walked that path. There’s a lot of waiting. It’s not just, “Hey, we go and we’ll have your results in T-minus two days.”

There is imaging and then the actual biopsy to do the pathology report. I say all that for those who do understand that walk. I did imaging and the perimeter looked atypical—not encapsulated as one would imagine.

Let me not get too medical because the bioengineering is kicking in. Long story short, I was diagnosed in October of last year. Oddly enough, it was Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

We didn’t waste any time. I met with the physicians, oncologists, and the team. They said, “We want to make sure we squash this and we eradicate this from your entire body. We want to get started.”

I had to make big decisions like, am I good with the two children that I have? This can affect other things in my body or the future of that. I didn’t want to waste time because I want to be here, healthy, alive, and well for me and my family.

I started treatment in November and underwent that until March of this year. It was like, “Yeah, congratulations. You’re through the chemo round and now you have to prepare for surgery.”

After I went for surgery, I was an in-between candidate for radiation. But knowing me, it’s all or nothing. I said, “Go ahead and burn those cells out.” So we also decided on radiation as well.

I went the whole nine of walking chemotherapy, going through surgery, and doing radiation. I’m expeditiously moving myself forward now, dealing with up-and-down side effects from fatigue to brain fog to physical changes.

As we are both aware, it’s a new you. Right now, I am walking the line of oral treatment and doing my best to strengthen myself not just physically, but also mentally. I know I said a lot there. I don’t want the episode to be too long first round because I know we’ll continue to unravel that.

The Challenges of the Diagnostic Phase

Kayoll Gyan:

You mentioned the waiting part. People don’t realize how long it can take from finding something until you actually get a definite diagnosis or detailed information—not only is it cancer, but what kind, what stage, and what are the receptors on it.

That was very surprising. At least for me, it was scary too. What do you mean you have to wait for these test results to come in? I don’t think that people realize how long it can take before starting treatment. How long was that for you?

Cassandra Dell:

That’s such a good question. From the time of first finding the mass itself and going to the OBGYN versus the first day of treatment, that was at least seven weeks.

I remember it being mid-September, going in 24 hours to my OBGYN, and then not starting treatment until November 14th.

Kayoll Gyan:

At that point when they found out that this was cancer, did they have the information with the type and the stage?

Cassandra Dell:

We had already determined—for those who are in this journey or know about the language—HER2 negative, HER2 positive, triple negative, triple positive. There’s an array of hormones and receptors involved in understanding the “personality” that a cancer takes in one’s body.

By then, they had known all that information. I even went through something called Oncotype, which determines the speed or the aggressiveness of a cancer. All of that was determined prior to the oncology team.

The doctors said, “Okay, this is where we are, you’re going to be fine, this is the start date.” You are processing information at such a rapid rate because you’re trying to understand terms that you never thought would be applied to you. You are also trying to take in: this is happening to me. I am the patient.

Kayoll Gyan:

That’s so true. Even for me, I remember it just felt so surreal. I kept using that word because I just could not believe that I was sitting on that side of the table or that it was happening to me.

You have to be present and aware of what the situation is asking of you. You have to acknowledge this and make decisions, but at the same time, you’re also dealing with the shock of actually being in that situation in the first place.

Cassandra Dell:

Before we flip this to you, I remember the day I was home. My husband had stopped in for lunch and decided to just lay down. I get this alert on my phone like, “Oh, your results are in.”

I’m thinking, because the doctor hasn’t called me, let me just go check my results. They actually ended up apologizing in hindsight, but I had read the information on my own. It was not a call from the doctor’s office. It was me reading my chart.

You think, “If you don’t hear from us, this is good news.” Well, I hadn’t heard from them and I went to go check my chart and I’m looking at the terms. You see that word, “carcinoma,” and I’m crushed as I’m reading it. I’m almost looking for the “it is not.”

I allowed myself to take it in and sobbed. One of the most visceral experiences that you can have is: “How is this happening to me? Why is it happening to me? Is there anything that I did to cause it?” It was just as the tears were pouring out. Holy crap. Those were the first few moments.

Navigating Fertility and Motherhood Decisions

Kayoll Gyan:

You mentioned being in the doctor’s office before you started chemo and that conversation about having more children and fertility. What was that like? How did they ask you the question, and what were you thinking to come to terms with a decision in that moment?

Cassandra Dell:

Great question. For many people who may not know, going through chemotherapy treatment can affect your ovaries and your ability to produce because of the toxicity of the medication.

Mentally, it was a seesaw of gratitude that I had had my children, but also, “How dare this come in and tell me that my second child may be my last one?” How dare you just cut the road and cut the cord?

I felt like it was just disrespectful and invasive. The way that feels like an ultimatum, like you’re at the point of no return—I felt robbed. Why could my body not just go through the natural cyclical expectation?

Life had other plans in that moment. It was a combination of grief but also trying to prioritize what was most urgent, which is my life and being here for the two children that I do have.

Kayoll Gyan:

Did you make the decision during the visit or did you go home and talk to your husband about it?

Cassandra Dell:

I feel like I had made the decision there. It was not absolute, but I was like, “Okay, look, while a third would be lovely, I am on the path of not delaying treatment.”

I didn’t want to allow this thing to create another cell to extend into my body. While I allowed myself to grieve it, I knew immediately that I was not going to go the egg preservation route. I said, “Let’s just move forward.”

Should life choose for me to be in my 40s and have a child, great. But right now, let’s walk in life with our two. It was pretty instant. You’ve posed really good questions. Walk us through the initial days of your diagnosis.

Kayoll’s Discovery and Treatment Journey

Kayoll Gyan:

I realized something was wrong in June 2021. I was going in for my annual physical. My doctor was doing the breast exam and she felt my right breast while we were having a conversation.

Then she feels my left breast. She was like, “Huh, did I feel this before?” I put my hand on my breast and I was like, “No, this is new. I didn’t realize this was there.”

She finished her exam. Of course, you think “cancer,” but in my mind, I’m like, “No.” She thought it was probably just a cyst, so she sent me to get a sonogram.

During the scan, the person doing it said it doesn’t necessarily look like anything serious, but they couldn’t really tell. They said to come back for a follow-up in three months.

Within those three months, I went off because it was summertime and I had plans. I wasn’t going to let this stop my plans. I had planned to go to North Carolina for a wedding, Nashville to visit my friend, and then Texas.

It was my first time traveling solo with the boys. At the time, they were two and four. I was nervous preparing for my first flight solo with them, so I went and I did all of that.

In the meantime, I was still feeling my breast to notice if there were any changes. Sometimes I thought, “Does this feel the same?” I wasn’t quite sure. But when September came, I realized something.

I was actually in a job interview on a Friday and I thought, “Man, my breast hurts. This doesn’t feel right.” We were going to New York that weekend for a wedding and our anniversary. I said, “When I come back on Monday, I’m going to call and make an appointment.”

I called my PCP and told her I felt like the lump was getting bigger. She scheduled me for a follow-up. I went back and they did more scans. That’s when they did a mammogram and a biopsy at their breast oncology unit.

I was waiting to see what was happening. One day, I was in Lowe’s trying to get a fence because a storm had blown my fence down. I was in line and saw my phone ring. I went outside to the parking lot. Frank was in the car.

I picked up the call and I guess the way that I looked, Frank must have seen me from the car because he came out and met me. I put the phone on speaker and the doctor said the test results show that it is cancer.

My heart sank. We went to the car and drove home. I didn’t get my fence that day. I went home, went to the bathroom, and just started crying. I can’t believe this. Frank came and met me and he started crying too.

After a few minutes, I said, “You know what? If God brought us to this, he’ll bring us through it.” After that, my disposition changed. I was like, “Okay, if this is the road that I have to go down, I’m going to do whatever I have to do.”

I was still being treated at this one hospital, waiting to find out any more details. One week went by, then two weeks. Going into the third week, I thought, “No, this is taking too long.” Nobody was calling me.

I did my postdoc at a place in Boston. I emailed my mentor and told him I just got this news that I’m diagnosed with breast cancer. I asked if I should contact the person who had interviewed me for my job. He said, “Yes, you need to contact her.”

He put me on a three-way email with her. She responded and set me up for my first appointment. She told me to get my scans on a CD and have everything transferred to the new hospital. Within a couple of days, I was in her office. By that Wednesday, I was at the hospital where I would be treated.

It was just surreal navigating making decisions for yourself, but also navigating the shock that you are actually a patient now. This cancer got past your defense.

I was writing in my journal that this thing got past my defense without even sounding an alarm, growing and taking up space in my body. I wondered, “Did my body tell me messages that I didn’t listen to? Was I just so focused with work that I ignored the messages it was trying to tell me?”

Cassandra Dell:

You’re nailing it. Your words stick because the feeling is so mutual. How dare this just come in without me noticing? Could I have caught it sooner so that it was just a quick removal?

What I’m capturing from you sharing your perspective is how life is just going. You’re at Lowe’s. Never mind the role of still having to parent and show up at work while you’re waiting. And you don’t look like a patient.

Kayoll Gyan:

Exactly. At that point, I was 33 years old. As you mentioned before, no one in my family had breast cancer or cancer. That word just wasn’t even part of it. It was hypertension or cholesterol.

In my work as a nurse scientist, my work is looking at health promotion. Part of my work focused on cervical cancer prevention and the role of culture in health decision-making.

Another part of my research looks at the role of religion and spirituality as resources to cope with a cancer diagnosis. I was in this space of cancer prevention and treatment research, and I still never thought it would be me.

I just didn’t have the risk factors. I had my children and I breastfed both of them for at least 15 months. I did all the things. I wasn’t overweight and I was always active. It just didn’t make sense to me.

I also did the genetic test to see if I had a genetic predisposition and it was negative as well. Regardless of things not adding up, my present situation said that this was found in my body and I needed to fight it. I ended up having chemotherapy, surgery, and then 25 rounds of radiation.

Cassandra Dell:

How long did it take from that initial diagnosis to actually starting treatment?

Kayoll Gyan:

I first heard the word “cancer” at the beginning of September. It was my PCP who actually told me the results. The people from the breast oncology clinic didn’t call me. That was my first red flag.

She was very supportive and responsive, but not hearing back from the clinic where I was doing my scans wasn’t a good start for me. That was the reason why I switched where I was being treated. I started chemo in October. In all, it was about a month and a half.

Cassandra Dell:

So it’s almost the same timeline, that six to eight weeks.

Kayoll Gyan:

Maybe the timeframe was fine. But the fact that I went three months from the scan to then finding out it’s cancer—I felt like maybe that was my mistake. I should have told them to go ahead and do a biopsy right then and there in July.

I just wasn’t thinking of anything. With them saying it didn’t look like cancer, I kind of just relied on the good news.

Cassandra Dell:

When you don’t know what you don’t know, you’re leaning on professionals who see this every day. I completely understand thinking, “Could I have done it differently?”

When you’re in it, it feels long. It feels like forever. One of the first questions I had was, “Can you just wrap this up and do the surgery?” I want to pose you the same question about children. What was your initial thought around having to make a decision around that?

Kayoll Gyan:

My oncologist said I could do fertility preservation, but that would add another three to six weeks before starting chemo because that needs to be scheduled. As I mentioned, we already had two boys at the time.

I wanted a third child. I had been playing with the idea of it. Around the time I was diagnosed was the time I would have started trying to get pregnant for the third child. I felt robbed in the sense that this cancer experience was potentially taking that away.

I didn’t make the decision in the hospital. But that night, my husband said it was my decision. He was fine with two. But I had envisioned three. That was hard for me.

I came to realize that it was something I actually grieved. I had to take time to grieve not having a third child. But that night I was looking at my children and thought, “I need to make sure I do everything possible to be here for the children I already have.”

That night I called the office and said I’m not doing the preservation process. I wanted to start as quickly as possible. We ended up starting chemo the next week.

Redefining Identity After a Diagnosis

Cassandra Dell:

The stories sound so similar. When we had the chance to connect along my treatment journey, I was amazed at how similar the experiences were: two kids, mothers, and similar lines of treatment.

We’ve walked a battle we didn’t think we would have. How has this shifted your identity in any way?

Kayoll Gyan:

That’s such a good question. I wrestle with that because, as a Christian, I never want to dwell on something negative that doesn’t speak life into me. I wrestled a lot with whether I wanted to talk about cancer.

If I do speak about it, is the way that I speak about it honoring my experience and the revelations I received from God? Is the light I’m shining on the cancer itself and the toll it had on my body?

Or can I talk about it in a way that gives people hope and lets them know that it can be a thing that draws you closer to finding your purpose? It can bring you closer to God, your family, and your community.

I try to have that balance where I don’t glorify the cancer, but talk about it from a lens that gives people hope. I define myself as a child of God, a person that has overcome many challenges, a friend, a mother, and a wife.

I want to help others who may be going through cancer. If I can pull from my own experience of struggle to share nuggets of what I learned, that’s the space I want to move into. I don’t want that alone to be my identity.

Cassandra Dell:

This really shows the rawness and transparency of it. I see it almost like an online journal. Similarly to you, I have walked this path and continue to.

There are still doctor’s appointments and trying to find out what professional spaces look like. You have this thing in the rearview mirror that checks in and out.

Religion was something that I was not well-practiced in prior to treatment. But I found myself leaning on it, whether it be gospel or just words of positivity. In society, we often share once we have gotten through the battle or once the coast is clear.

Kayoll Gyan:

True.

Cassandra Dell:

I hold space for any person walking through a diagnosis like this, because I recognize that when there is fear, we gatekeep. We don’t share that until the coast is clear or we get some sort of medical sunshine.

Kayoll Gyan:

Like there’s a finish line you can kind of see.

Cassandra Dell:

Yes. I want to create a space that lets people know that life does throw curveballs. It’s how we share as humans and how we hold space to support someone that makes us better.

Going back to identity, I’ve always been a natural empath. I want to hold this space here. This connects to my identity because I want to be in conversation.

There’s no quick answer, but I want to create spaces for people to feel like themselves and be vulnerable but courageous. This Stage Hope Podcast allows the parts of me that I hide to unravel.

I was listening to The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett and Brené Brown was on there. She talked about how courage is being vulnerable, but it’s also believing in yourself and following your intuition.

This platform is allowing just that. Going through treatment, you don’t have a choice—you want to live. I want to invite that same energy into mommyhood, creative space, and entrepreneurship.

The Mission of Stage Hope

Kayoll Gyan:

I completely agree. For us, we could see a finish line. But for many, maybe there isn’t a finish line. For some, it’s terminal. Is there a way to still bring hope to those conversations?

Being a believer doesn’t prevent you from going through struggle. It doesn’t extricate you from that aspect of humanity. But what I learned is that it changes the way you struggle.

It changes how you view it or what you take from it. Everybody is going to go through something. For us, that happened to be breast cancer. My hope for this conversation is to provide light or hope in a space that is safe and trusting.

Cassandra Dell:

It’s going to be one heck of a journey. Our experiences have led to the Stage Hope Podcast. We hope our listeners find a space that invites joy and living life in spite of the challenges.

It’s not all blue skies and sunny days. Our hope is that we bring laughter and a sense of what it is to be human. We want to share what it means to be resilient, courageous, and vulnerable, all while just having fun.

That is what makes life delicious. I’m excited about it.

Kayoll Gyan:

All right. Well, let’s go.

Cassandra Dell:

Thanks for listening in and see you next time. Bye.